This is mostly for my own reference for the religious atheist poll thread and shows the users and their gender, age, and affiliation. This is to keep easy track of who has voted already and if I need to do age updates I have a quick reference. If your name is on the list and you want something changed, PM me or leave a comment.
User - gender, age, religious preference.
Page 1
Taime- M, 17, Atheist
Ben- M, 19, Atheist
Shaun- M, 21, Atheist
Electronika- M, 17, Agnostic
legendarysim- M, 17, Atheist
KillMoochie- M, 17, Religious
Lost-Chances- M, 17, Atheist
ornery-scotsman- M, 21, Atheist
JohnnyWang- M, 20, Atheist
poop- M, ?, Agnostic
deleted-3- M, 17, Agnostic
m4ilm4n- M, 19, Atheist
Eudaimonism- M, 15, Agnostic
Deleted user- ?, ?, Religious
Enoll- M, 21, Agnostic
CathaI- M, 16, Religious
Siggy0501- M, 15, Agnostic
Popbrain1- M, 19, Religious
gambit-boi- M, 23, Agnostic
Casualty- M, 17, Atheist
Jossos- F, ?, Agnostic
CM- M, 17, Atheist
HeartbreakHoldout- M, 18, Religious
Megalomanic- M, 17, Agnostic
indirect00- M, 23, Atheist
WillPostForFood- M, 17, Atheist
Dopefish- M, 23, Religious
FailGrounds- F, ?, Agnostic
Massacre-Akp- M, 21, Agnostic
Page 2
Maxxor- M, 17, Atheist
Revenant- M, 19, Agnostic
Mrputter- M, 17, Religious
Kashisti- F, ?, Agnostic
JackRabbitStudios- M, 19, Religious
Lagtag- M, 17, Religious
Fire- M, 16, Religious
seventy-one- M, 15, Religious
RedCoin- M, 17, Atheist
scottmale24- M, 19, Religious
zzazzman- M, 21, Atheist
LadyGrace- F, 24, Religious
Robotussin- M, 17, Agnostic
Vicious-Demise- F, 15, Atheist
WickedClown17- M, 17, Religious
DeadKraz- M, 20, Religious
Damian- M, 16, Religious
Saint-Seanus- M, 18, Agnostic
ShadzKing- M, 15, Religious
deus-ex-machina- M, 16, Religious
AnzRage- ?, 21, Religious
Ezgamer- M, 16, Religious
Flak-1- M, 16, Atheist
Xtesh- M, 17, Religious
Shootem-up- M, 18, Religious
Page 3
Jinzoa- M, 18, Agnostic
harrjarry- M, 15, Religious
blinddragon- M, 21, Religious
Trampalite- M, 19, Atheist
XannyBarz- M, 18, Atheist
Pre-K-Prostitute- M, 17, Religious
GunCrave- M, 19, Agnostic
Grammer- M, 19, Religious
Elfer- M, 19, Agnostic
DeathMoth- M, 16, Agnostic
TITROTU- M, 18, Religious
Shagge- M, 14, Agnostic
2good2b4goten- M, 17. Atheist
Adam- M, ?, Religious
Moral-Man- M, ?, Religious
Khao- M, 17, Atheist
That-Is-Bull- M, 16, Atheist
Hobo-Assassin- M, 17, Agnostic
AbsurdRandomness- M, ? Religious
HotActionYiffFur- M, 19, Religious
Hi-dud- M, 17, Agnostic
Kurofelis- M, 14, Religious
Page 4
MattTheParanoidKat- M, 18, Atheist
The-Narrator- M, 17, Religious
Confound-Mind- M, 16, Religious
Oppugnant- M, 17, Atheist
CountPoopoo- M, ?, Atheist
Grubby- M, 13, Religious
DtKnight- M, 21, Atheist
Lagerkapo- M, 18, Atheist
ScRiPt-KiDdiE- M, 27, Religious
ZeroAsALimit- M, 21, Agnostic
NickScott- M, 14, Atheist
Altered-Beast- M, 14, Atheist
Heinrich- M, ?, Religious
DrKilledByDeath87- M, 20, Agnostic
capn-g- M, 32, Religious
Violent-LJ- M, 17, Religious
TheRadicalOne- M, 17, Religious
adifferentlight- M, 21, Atheist
Cajunspirit- M, 19, Religious
Page 5
RampantBunnyLove- F, 19, Atheist
BumFodder- M, ?, Religious
macbookpro- M, 19, Agnostic
Me-Patch- M, 20, Religious
Dark6- M, 18, Agnostic
Mr-Contradiction- M, 20, Atheist
Molotov- M, 20, Religious
SouthAsian- M, 17, Religious
Warrickneff- M, 19, Religious
DeadBolt- M, 16, Agnostic
Funkchiken- M, 15, Agnostic
Minion777- M, 17, Religious
Jesus-X- M, ?, Religious
Hamslice- M, 17, Agnostic
Redbob86- M, 21, Religious
Samurai- M, 14, Religious
Perj- M, 21, Atheist
Draciel56- M, 17, Religious
SlashFirestorm- M, 22, Atheist
Page 6
Idiotechie- M, 19, Agnostic
forsterbar- M, 22, Religious
soadsod- M, 19, Religious
Esn- M, 19, Atheist
mrdurgan- M, 17, Agnostic
N-Joe- M, 16, Agnostic
blueberryhavik- M, ?, Religious
Ghost-Ryder- M, 15, Religious
WawaneesA- F, 20, Religious
AntiEverythingGoon- M, 19, Religious
Page 7
hukedunfonikswork- M, 19, Agnostic
Hectasist- M, 17, Atheist
metalstorm- M, 20, Agnostic
Joodah- M, 17, Religious
Nicko9y- M, 17, Religious
1nn0cent- M, 19, Religious
Deaths-Legion- M, 17, Agnostic
MRED- M, 18, Religious
Fung-Lei- M, 21, Atheist
Guitardude- M, 19, Religious
StoneGuy- M, 25, Agnostic
TheDoctor- F, 27, Religious
Deleted user- ?, ?, Agnostic
D13Daniel- M, 16, Religious
jacktherack- M, 16, Atheist
boloneyman- M, 17, Agnostic
PillowInYourFace- M, 15, Religious
Sense-Offender- M, 18, Religious
Black-Flame- M, 15, Agnostic
PirateKirby- M, 17, Religious
BFG-Nine-Thousand- M, 18, Religious
Page 8
MortifiedPenguins- M, 21, Religious
Pinkasaurus- M, 16, Agnostic
kinzu- M, ?, Religious
Freakish-Beast- M, 20, Religious
JoeisCooler- M, 20, Atheist
hippl5- M, ?, Atheist
MoonClock- M, 15, Religious
LoadedBum- M, 15, Atheist
Ryugin- M, 17, Agnostic
Connor- M, 15, Agnostic
PatrickMajewski- M, 21, Religious
ricksterx00- M, ?, Atheist
hongkongexpress- M, ?, Religious
Dauss- M, 16, Atheist
TheSovereign- M, ?, Atheist
Deadly-Shadow- M, 15, Atheist
CHRlST- M, ?, Religious
anonymous08- M, 17, Religious
Bolo- M, 18, Atheist
Idiosyncratic- M, 19, Religious
Dobio- M, 22, Religious
SenorPresidente- M, 19, Atheist
SkullScar- M, 16, Religious
RedSkelton- M, 25, Atheist
Page 9
TheRat- M, 17, Religious
biblboasdzc- F, 16, Religious
Xmas-Bound-Pervert- M, 15, Atheist
esko-man- M, 17, Religious
SCG- M, 17, Religious
Kaworu-Ikari- M, 15, Religious
Rigormort1s- M, 16, Atheist
yurgenburgen- M, 20, Atheist
TheMakeoutHobo- M, 17, Agnostic
MagnumPrimers- M, 15, Religious
Cole- M, 15, Religious
Splurgle- M, 15, Atheist
Gwarfan- M, 17, Agnostic
TheyWillRise- M, 18, Religious
KyleTheMadcap- M, 15, Agnostic
Idiot-Finder- M, 20, Religious
DJ-Ravecore- M, 17, Religious
LardLord- M, ?, Atheist
POOPIES- M, 13, Atheist
Gabe- M, 17, Atheist
TheSnowMonster- M, 21, Atheist
Page 10
Togukawa- M, 22, Agnostic
NobGoblin- F, 19, Agnostic
cmssmc- M, 18, Religious
Tancrisism- M, 18, Atheist
Speshilkay- M, 13, Atheist
SardonicSamurai- M, 20, Atheist
Apollo- M, 23, Religious
Wastelander- M, 25, Agnostic
Janus- M, 28, Agnostic
Flirp- M, 19, Atheist
Siiike- M, 20, Atheist
MiddleFingerRings- M, 15, Agnostic
alexsmolik- M, 20, Atheist
Darkagentx- M, 20, Agnostic
TheSoulReaper- M, 21, Religious
Deleted User- ?, ?, Religious
GreenCard- M, 16, Agnostic
ibhenowflee- M, 15, Religious
TropicalParadise- F, ?, Religious
0Metal0- M, 16, Atheist
Sensationalism- F, 20, Atheist
Page 11
7887-tabs- M, 15, Religious
Satyriasis- M, 21, Religious
RobbyBlaze- M, 17, Agnostic
Sarai- F, 28, Religious
ChriZZu- M, 15, Atheist
AdamRice- M, 18, Agnostic
AtomicTerrorist- M, 18, Religious
TailsPrower- M, 16, Religious
Jeffaro- M, 15, Atheist
Bovineoverlord- F, 14, Religious
NoobsKillingNoobs- M, 14, Religious
Snakemaster-13- M, 14, Atheist
Deadly- M, 16, Atheist
Jose- M, 21, Atheist
Kamron- M, ?, Agnostic
the-kraminator- M, 15, Atheist
YungJazz- M, 17, Religious
StephanosGnomon- M, 24, Religious
Legend45- M, 18, Religious
Xurch- M, 18, Atheist
johnfn- M, ?, Atheist
Archkronos- M, 22, Atheist
Page 12
azn-vink- M, 19, Atheist
Orange- M, 17, Atheist
TheChaosDemon- M, 18, Agnostic
inclusivedisjunction- M, 19, Atheist
Thewests- M, 14, Agnostic
Spackerchip- M, 17, Agnostic
NeoSoviet- F, 18, Atheist
TheCrazyPotato- M, 16, Agnostic
Grimfenix- M, 14, Religious
TheSoulMan- M, 17, Atheist
Powerage- M, 21, Agnostic
thelordofcheese- M, 26, Agnostic
RobotTaco- M, 15, Agnostic
un-l337-1- M, ?, Religious
CapnCrunchDaPimp- M, 15, Religious
Raped- M, 16, Religious
Jehad- M, 15, Religious
Horrigan- M, 17, Atheist
ForcedDJ- M, 16, Religious
American-Rubbish- M, 16, Atheist
Page 13
Hellraiser- M, 17, Atheist
XchaosXlinux- M, 14, Atheist
JackPhantasm- M, 20, Agnostic
Geohunter- M, 15, Religious
SadisticSatisfaction- M, 16, Religious
Monkey-Kong- M, ?, Religious
Aivi- ?, ?, Atheist
LolNinjers- M, 15, Religious
Brick-top- M, 18, Agnostic
VeinDigger- M, 13, Atheist
Mitok- M, 16, Atheist
Ulven- M, 20, Atheist
Ursiruss- M, 18, Religious
ClowntjeGoorlap- M, 17, Atheist
Git- M, 17, Agnostic
AtomicPotato- M, 16, Agnostic
StealthBeast- M, 17, Religious
theGodlyOne- M, 17, Religious
djmrules- M, 17, Agnostic
Lost-Thought- M, 17, Religious
Tisbad- M, ?, Atheist
DearonElensar- M, 20, Religious
Page 14
EnconXV- M, 17, Atheist
deafeningsilence5- M, 16, Atheist
Hellian00- M, 16, Religious
Bendo- M, 15, Religious
PBass- M, 17, Religious
holmzito- M, ?, Atheist
LuigiBot- F, 17, Religious
Kuro- M, 16. Atheist
LinkSFG- M, ?, Agnostic
Jakspeed- M, 18. Agnostic
MissingNYC- M, 27, Atheist
Shawtey- M, 21, Religious
TheCrook- M, 15, Atheist
Mr-Coffee- M, 17, Atheist
Krykos- M, 18, Agnostic
intrinsik2- M, 14. Agnostic
Afromaster- M, 14, Religious
Kaabi- M, 16, Atheist
TheDepthsofHell- M, 17, Atheist
HellSpawn- M, ?, Atheist
Page 15
Vavix- M, 17, Atheist
Eoewe- M, 23, Atheist
chasemanjansen- M, 16, Religious
Zen-Zinxe- M, 16, Religious
AngryBanana- M, 15, Agnostic
SadisticMonkey- M, 16, Religious
DarkArchon- M, 23, Agnostic
thomtomw- M, 19, Agnostic
PunkyboyBen- M, 16, Atheist
MadMax- M, 17, Agnostic
Karvman- M, 15, Atheist
AnoxiaSan- F, 20, Agnostic
DarklordMike545- M, 17, Religious
AdamJack- M, 18, Agnostic
strumpy- M, 14 Religious
Nathrukh- M, 19, Atheist
J3bus- M, 18, Atheist
ClarktheCanadian- M, ?, Atheist
The-evil-bucket- M, 27, Atheist
Eggy- M, 18, Atheist
Syzyde- M, ?, Religious
Jin- M, 18, Atheist
Page 16
Xipp- M, 14, Atheist
Zerok- M, 21, Religious
itsflemz- M, 16, Religious
Aceton- M, 15, Agnostic
videogamer0810- M, 19, Agnostic
skreetch- M, 13, Atheist
WarpedHunter- M, 16, Religious
pie101- M, 15, Atheist
Misterbones- M, ?, Religious
Akula- M, 16, Religious
TacticalShoe- M, 19, Religious
Darkside7000- M, 16, Agnostic
Yookji- M, 16, Atheist
CoolGoat- M, 14, Religious
urbanred- M, ?, Atheist
TERMINATORINNC- M, 21, Religious
TheCriminalDuder- M, 17, Religious
Serphyas- M, 19, Agnostic
Page 17
KillerCRS- M, 14, Religious
Inferno42- M, 23, Religious
unowned- M, ?, Religious
Ss2-teen-gohan-Ss2- M, 17, Agnostic
kRaZyAzN- M, ?, Atheist
Gagsy- F, 20, Atheist
Jamie- M, 16, Religious
ValenceElectron- M, ?, Agnostic
superratso- M, 20, Religious
jadedragon57- M, 15, Atheist
Drakim- M, 19, Atheist
1031- F, ?, Agnostic
PhoenixGodwin- M, 17, Atheist
Corky-D- M, ?, Agnostic
sk8a-guy-thing- M, 13, Atheist
KILLATHEISTS,- M, ?, Religious
spite-skater- M, 18, Religious
Torrunt- M, 15, Atheist
Sterance- M, 20, Religious
Page 18
SugarQmuffin69- M, 16, Agnostic
Ceti- M, 15, Agnostic
JarrodK- M, ?, Religious
p0psz- M, 19, Religious
macio- M, 13, Religious
risbolla- M, ?, Religious
Cuppa-LettuceNog- M, 18, Agnostic
Michaelas10- M, ?, Atheist
Whirlguy- M, 18, Religious
KingOfBBQ- M, 19, Agnostic
Kygore612- M, 18, Atheist
troyster590- M, 16. Atheist
NeonFlame126- M, 13, Atheist
Page 19
captainchaos03- M, 15, Atheist
Ziggy-Stardust- M, 23, Atheist
Phratt- M, ?, Agnostic
ClockworkTrashcan- M, 16, Agnostic
gregaaron89- M, 18, Agnostic
OPIUMSKUM- M, 16, Atheist
Flared24- M, ?, Atheist
Helicopterz- F, ?, Atheist
xSalladx- M, 15, Atheist
EpicFail- M, 15, Religious
sweet-tooth-pico-fan- M, 18, Atheist
dark-fox- M, 21, Religious
rezic- M, 17, Religious
iceman17171700- M, 15, Religious
Eggys- M, 17, Religious
undeadcl0wn-4- M, 15, Religious
El-Duego- M, 14, Agnostic
flubeca- M, 13, Agnostic
VenusDoom- M, 15, Religious
Page 20
andhination- M ,14, Agnostic
Erikio- M, 17, Atheist
lightning- M, 20, Atheist
Shadow-1409- M, 17, Atheist
aldlv- M, 18, Religious
Icecry0- M, 13, Agnostic
Zege- M, ?, Religious
erathoniel- M, ?, Religious
HahaBears- M, 15, Religious
PirateClock- M, 20, Atheist
Wimpestguytolive- M, ?, Atheist
Centurion-Ryan- M, 13, Religious
guy777- M, 15, Religious
SeraphimFalling- M, ?, Religious
TheBoard- M, 15, Atheist
Charon- M, 20, Atheist
TacoFreak- M, 13, Religious
ouchichi- M, 18, Atheist
DrBucktooth- M, 16, Agnostic
dragoop- M, 14, Religious
Jimtopia- M, 18, Religious
gamerdakota- M, ?, Religious
BaronVonBadGuy- M, 23, Religious
Crazyhobo51- M, 21, Atheist
TheGodfather- M, 15, Agnostic
Kbomb13- M, 15, Agnostic
Not In Thread
SaltshakerClock- M, ?, Religious
ExtraTim- M, 17, Religious
Coop83- M, 25, Agnostic
iscrulz- M, 26, Religious
MuffDiver102- M, 20, Atheist
MeatMachine- M, 16, Athiest
PinballWizard976- M, 15, Religious

Sorry for not posting anything new for a while, been really busy and kinda not in the mood to type up psudeo-intresting accounts of my job (like anyone reads this crap anyway).

So in light of nothing of outstanding intrest happening recently that wouldnt sound like mindless blog whining gossip about people no one will ever meet, I present to you.....the following filler material on the elements of a pet store.

Customers - Anyone in retail will tell you the same thing, "the customer is always right, even when they are wrong." What they mean is not that if the customer says 1+1 = 57 that they are correct. They really mean that the customer will spend their money however they want to, and you cant tell them no, or that they are being retarded. In a pet store however the customer is quite frequently wrong, and you will politley let them know that the purchase they are about to make, or the information they have heard is inaccurate. A common example is that the customer will often want to buy various rawhide products for their puppy, and not know that rawhide is undigestible to a young pup and will create a ball in their stomach and kill them. So we simply tell them that its not a good idea and explain why, and they still insist on buying it we sell it to them. Now only an imbecile will buy something after you tell them that it will kill their dog, but sadly a good 97% of our customers are complete dunderheads, ergo the following subsection...
Stupid Customer Questions
"Do you have any hamster eggs?"
"So these dogs are twin siblings? Cool, are they from the same breeder?"
"Do you sell dogs" (the first thing you see when you walk through the door is 20 some kennels, filled with dogs, I repsonded yes to this question, the customer then turned to her husband "they dont sell dogs, lets go")
"What would the punishment be if you had sex with your dog?"
"So you say this snake only eats toads, could i feed it a mouse?"
The most common stupid customer comments are normaly along the lines of these
"how much/ how old is this dog" (we have signs on each cage showing the birthdate and price of each dog, its fine if they have never been in the store before and didnt notice the sign, but most of the time they ask this AFTER I have pointed the sign out, they will repeat the same question on the dog in the adjacent kennel)
"you have a cat loose" (we have at least 15 signs strewn about the store saying that our store cat 'knuckles' lives in the store, two of these signs are eye level as you walk in)
"That *insert animal* is dead" (we always reply with "no its sleeping" but they insist its dead and start accusing us of animal abuse, so we go over to the cage, open it and immeadiatly the animal springs up in excitement. The customer then claps "awww wow it was just sleeping, but it looked dead, good thing it isnt")

Animals
Dogs
The dogs are the bread and butter of the store (because they cost wayyyyy to much, but amazingly people buy them quite often). They are cute fuckers who each have a personality that will eventually piss you off when you work with them, but you cant help but love them. Most of the time the dogs are in and out of the store in about a week or two, but some of them have been there for months which isnt a good thing. Occasionaly some die randomly but its pretty rare. We take good care of them and keep their cages as clean as possible. Their are two pairs of dogs in particular however that I wouldnt mind just giving away because they are so irratating. The first pair is a rat terrier and toy fox terrier who i have nicknamed....
"The Shizea Twins". They are the raunchyest, most depraved, disgusting, debauched dogs I have ever encountered. When they are alone they are fine well behaved playful little love bugs, but when they are in their kennel together they are just plain sick. They always wait for customers to walk infront of the kennel before doing anything, their favorite activity being rampant humping of one another (both are male, but humping is a sign of dominance not sexuality so its not gay). Their other activities include, drinking and bathing in each others urine, eating shit, and eating shit as it comes out of the ass of the other then turning around and licking the shit off of their companions face. I love having to explain their hobbies to little children who make up most of the audience.
The other pair is a pair of beagles, brother and sister, who have the most fucking irratating bark on this big green earth, and they bark constantly. So much so that they often loose their voice, with forces us to put them in the back till they regain it because we arent allowed to sell sick dogs. So they have been at the store for way to long.
Reptiles and Fish
The reptiles are pretty badass. We have a giant iguana up front, and some little ones next to him. We have a variety of snakes, lizards, amphibians and turtles. Not many people buy reptiles and they really dont do anything annoying. Those who do buy reptiles tend to be punk ass college age kids who thing that owning a 12 foot snake will get them laid or something, but fail to realise that it takes YEARS for a snake to get that long, and making them survive the first year or two is a rather hard. The fish are useless and no one even notices them because they are really boring and stupid and boring and boring and boring and boring.....zzzzzzz
Birds
The birds are just messy and noisy, but kinda fun to fuck with.
Small Animals
Hamsters and gerbils, rabbits and guinea pigs, ferrets and chinchillas. All fun fuzzy animals who love to bite. Littel kids get a kick out of these and always want to see them, but cant because everytime we let one hold an animal they almost squeeze the thing to death or drop it and then freak out and I have to chase it around the store for 10 minutes.
Cats
We dont get kittens in often now that the owners wife is preggers (cats can cause miscarrages and birth defects if they hang around pregnant women to much). But normaly they come in scarred shitless and are sold within 3-4 days.
Feeder Animals
We probably make most of our daily money off of feeder animals. Mice, Rats, Fish, and Crickets. We get shipments in on wednesday and are normaly out of all feeders except maybe fish by the following monday. Yet every week the same couple inbred rednecks come in on tuesday "got any *insert feeder animal*" we always tell them the same thing "no we are out, tuesday is a bad day to come in because we are always out by then, we get them in on wednesday" to which they reply "oh ok, ill come back in next tuesday then"...... wow

I might elaborate later on a few of the animals but now Im bored of typing so deal with it.

Nothing happened today. I got to work and all maintence stuff was done, which means that only mindless busywork tasks are available. Shit like alphabetizing the dog books, which I discovered, that regardless of the breed the book says it is about, each book is exactly the fucking same. What good is a book on Pug dental care when they show pictures of Great Danes. It would be like an instructional manual explaing how tools work, then describing a hammer but displaying a screwdriver.

Anyway I set the minions about their mindless tasks (cleaning beta fish, clipping dingle berries, picking dirt from under places) and proceeded to think of more mindless tasks while they currently worked on their current ones (god im a mean manager).
NOW FOR THE INTRESTING PART
About 2 weeks ago some bright twit was cleaning the feeder rat cages and lost one of the rats in the process. We have a store cat who lives for mistakes like these, he baisically kills any escaped animal. However he has trouble killing large or jumbo rats (these things can be about 12-14 inches without tail, and can weigh about 3-4 pounds) so normaly if one of them gets out we try much harder to find him before a customer sees him.
For two weeks we have spotted and nearly caught this escaped rat (a large rat who is about 9 inches long sans tail and maybe weighs a pound) who we have for some reason named "wayne".
Wayne has been spotted and escaped capture at least 4 times since his escape 2 weeks ago.
Earlier today, as laurie was cleaning out the back room (in which she found the source of the smell back there, about 20 grates covered in shit that were shoved behind a door that cant be opened anymore) when she spotted wayne. She was fast enough to grab him and actually had him by the tail and was transporting him back to the feeder cages when..... his tail begins to fall off......
He is a fucking rat, their tails are normaly pretty well atached, unlike lizards. So she does what any idiot does, freaks out and tosses him away.... right at some customers.... who thank god had their backs turned and didnt notice the one pound flying rat that crash landed 6 inches behind them, then ran under some shelves.
As I was closing I saw him run across the floor being followed by the store cat and bolt under a display shelf where there is nowhere to go. Upon seeing this I jump clear over the counter, flatten myself on the floor and start trying to coax him into a corner where capture will be easier... but the fucker is gone, vanished, disapeered, another word for gone...
The best part is that we have cameras that overlook the register, im sure Rob is going to give me hell for my acrobatics.... oh well.

As promised, here is the first of what is hopefully many entries to come about my job.

I suppose I should start with an intro to get things started. I work at a private owned local pet store, so we take pretty decent care of our animals in comparison to those big corporate mega giants like petsmart or petco.
We carry pretty much any pet you would care to have. Reptiles, birds, spiders, scorpions, dogs, cats, rodents, ferrets, you name it we probably sell it (within reason, no monkies or any wierd shit like that). I have been working there for about a month and a half and half already been made manager.

TODAY I GOT SHAT ON
The day started pretty shitty. I got to work early expecting to get shit done before the typical morning rush. We have a tradition that the lowest ranking person (IE newest) has to do dogs. What that means is baisically this.
We have about 16 or so dog kennels that need cleaning each morning. This involves shoveling out piss soaked wood chips and scrapping dog shit off the ceiling of the kennel (the dogs like to play and fling their shit all about the cage). Since its normaly the shittiest job (hahaha pun) we reserve it for the lowest ranking person, it also takes really long.
However today I opened and was told we were having a new girl come in who was already trained on how to do the dogs, so i said i would wait a few minutes for her to show up. 10 minutes pass and she isnt arriving and the dogs are getting antsy and flinging shitty woodchips all over the place. Marsha has already started doing other maintinence tasks and Laurie is complaining that she has an eye problem and cant be near woodchips. So im stuck doing dogs. I finish in about an hour which is pretty damn fast. As im finishing new girl arrives and spends the rest of the day being a stupid teenager bimbo girl avoiding all assinged work i give her.
NOW FOR THE INTRESTING PART
We have in our store a huge fucking Iguana. He is about 5 foot 6 with tail and weighs about 25 pounds. He is in a big ass cage right in fron tof the store, and it still amazes me the number of fucking twits that dont see him. Honestly how do you miss something that big sitting in a 6 foot glass cage right when you walk in. Anyway on nice sunny days when all maintinence is done I sometimes will take the iguana, "Carl" , outside into the courtyard of the shopping center we are in to get some real sunlight. He fucking loves his real sunlight. Sometimes I even walk around the grocery store next door with him and freak people out but he gets cold and starts scratching the living daylights out of me. So today its nice out, so I muscle him out of his cage (when a huge iguana dosent want to be taken out of his cage, its like pulling teeth out of a shark, he scratches and thrashes about but once you get him out he is fine) and take him outside. I can immeadiatly feel him relax and calm down and loosen his death grip on my throat which he seems to love having (he has 1.5 inch nails that are pretty fucking sharp, so I try to avoid his feet near my jugular, but sadly he is most comfortable in that position). I get the usual oohs and ahhss from people walking by when all of the sudden *PPPPBBBTTTSHLIBBBTRT* he unleashes a stinky hot explosions of shit, piss, and whatever other ungodly fluids come out of a defecating iguana, all over me. Im drenched in iguana guano and dont have a change of clothes. Now iguanas are vegetarians so thank god all the solids were just plant fiber, but it takes them a good 3 minutes to really finish shitting. So i need to stand out there with a 25 pound reptile who is launching torrential downpours of liquidy white/clear/mauve funk juice all over me. When he is done realiving himself i take him back him stick him back in his cage, swear he has a big accomplished grin on his face, and head for the bathroom before anyone sees me. I end up having to soak my shirt in the sink with dishwashing soap and wring it dry, then use reptile heat lamps to dry it off.
I spent most of the day in a soggy shirt, but only one person commented on it and I said i had a problem filling one of the fish tanks.

Fucking Iguana, I swear he planned the whole thing.

A heads up for those intrested. I decided I can use this function to be a snooty annoying eliteist blog fuck and rant about my day at work for the day.

I work in a pet store so I have some pretty wacky stories I can tell.

Expect new zany hijinks from the store to be posted every night, right here on my ridiculous blog feature.

Starting sunday night hopefully.

Man what a pointless feature this blog is, like anyone is ever going to care enough to read it.